Rolling You Into My Life
by DistractionCat
Summary: You know what you need, Kyon? A cosmic, happy snowball of fun." What Haruhi wants, Haruhi gets. Though it normally doesn't involve being turned into stardust with the rest of the world. -Haruhi Suzumiya/Katamari Damacy crossover-


AN: Haruhi is a very crossover-able series, isn't it?

I'll probably draw something to accompany this, if I don't get too lazy. :)

Can anyone give me tips on how to write Yuki's dialogue properly?

The line "A cosmic, happy snowball of fun" comes from a review I read of Katamari Damacy a while ago. I love that game.

*

Roll You Up Into My Life 

"The club is getting so boring," Haruhi moaned for about the third time that day. She was, at the moment, sitting in front of the computer in said clubroom, glaring at Kyon. He seemed to sense this and looked over at her from his game of Othello with Itsuki. "It's not like this is my fault, stop looking at me."

She thought about turned to Yuki next, but then realized that would be pointless, so she turned to Mikuru instead, who was making a second batch of tea. "Mikuru. Make more tea."

"I-I already am..."

"Well." Haruhi pursed her lips a bit. "Go faster." Mikuru bowed her head a tiny bit and started to noticeably move faster. Haruhi sighed and turned back to Itsuki and Kyon. "Can you two do anything to help?"

"To help what?" Itsuki turned to face Haruhi with a smile. "I don't know, just stop being boring!" Itsuki had a mock-hurt expression on his face. "Am I not interesting enough?" She huffed and went up to Kyon. "You! Come up with something, I'm bored!"

He just groaned, glanced at her, and slumped over the table.

"Kyon!" She tapped him on the head. "You're _so_ boring! And you looked depressed too." He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and sighed. "I'm just a bit tired."

"No you're not, you're just boring and depressing and you need a happy pick me up!"

"I need sleep. That's it."

Haruhi glared and walked back to the computer, clicking and searching for videos. After a minute or so, she grumbled, "You know what you need, Kyon? A cosmic, happy snowball of fun." She clicked with force and Yuki shut her book.

"Alright, everyone, club meeting is over!" She clomped to the door and slammed it closed. Kyon got up and realized Itsuki, Yuki, and Mikuru were all staring at him.

"What's wrong this time?" Kyon looked around, and Itsuki answered, "How do I explain this... In layman's terms, 'What Haruhi Suzumiya wants is what Haruhi Suzumiya gets'. What she wished for was a 'cosmic, happy snowball of fun', and—"

At that moment, a large earthquake struck, and Itsuki and Kyon were knocked off of their chairs. Mikuru fell onto the ground, and Yuki stayed emotionless in her chair, unmoving. The windows cracked, and animal and human screams were heard in the background. When the earthquake subdued, Haruhi burst through the doors and ran directly to the broken window.

"You idiot! Don't you know you're supposed to stay away from windows during an earthquake?!" Haruhi ignored Kyon and pointed out the broken windows. "Do you see it, do you see it?! I think it looks friendly and fun!"

Kyon, who had taken shelter with Mikuru and Itsuki under the table, peeked out. "What are you—oh lord."

Outside the window was a large, colorful ball. It had buildings, various animals, people, and it was coming towards the school. Quickly.

"Yuki, what is this? And what's it gonna do to the school?"

Everyone looked at Yuki as she said, "It seems to be something you humans call a Katamari. When it comes in contact with this school, it will be gathered with the other objects and life forms also gathered."

Haruhi only picked up the word Katamari. She asked, "How long will it take to get here?"

"Approximately fifty eight seconds." Yuki turned back to her book, unperturbed. "This is an interesting turn of events, isn't it? Kyon jumped back as he saw Itsuki's face next to his own. "Get away from me."

"I can't wait for it to actually get here!" Haruhi was jumping up and down like an excited puppy about to pee. "What did you say it was called again, Yuki?"

"A Katamari."

"Right! So!" She turned around to face everyone. "Here's the plan! When this... Katamari rolls us up, we find a jackhammer and we drill through the school floors and get to the middle of it! There's gotta be some unnatural force powering this, and we gotta get the the middle of it!"

Mikuru raised her hand, shaking. "W-where are we going to find a j-jackhammer?" Haruhi's eyes sparkled, and everyone in the room decided that they didn't want to know.

"Twenty seven seconds."

"I'm going to go find the jackhammer before this rolls us up!" She sprinted out of the room. Kyon asked, to no one in particular, "How is that thing moving anyway?"

"The son of the King of All Cosmos, named The Prince, is a miniature being from a different universal plane. He is approximately five earth centimeters in height. He controls the object known as a Katamari by rolling it."

"...What?" Kyon, Itsuki, and Mikuru all got off the ground to listen to Yuki talk. She gave them both a look and Mikuru stated, "_Classified information_ would be bad if Miss Suzumiya died."

"Die? Who said anything about dying?!" Itsuki turned, unsmiling, to Kyon. "Are you aware that, once The Prince and his father are satisfied with the size of this Katamari, we will be sent up into space?"And our two, maybe three choices are to either become a planet—"

"—That doesn't sound so bad."

"—become a hot, burning star—"

"That's worse..." Kyon noticed that the sky was darker. He looked out of the window and noticed that the Katamari was large enough to make a large shadow, covering the entire sky. He gulped.

"—or to be blasted apart into tiny little pieces of stardust."

"That's bad." They all nodded. "Three seconds." Yuki closed her book and looked pointedly at the door, where Haruhi burst through carrying two jackhammers.

"Found some! Don't worry, we'll take turns—"

That was the last thing all five of them ever remembered.

*

A helicopter flew over the school, following the Katamari. The reporter in the helicopter spoke in a frantic voice. "If... If anyone can still hear me. There is no way out. It will just continue to get bigger and bigger." He looked around, and gestured to the pilot to move out of the way a bit.

"There is no safe place. I repeat, there is no safe place. You cannot hide..." The reporter let out a curt laugh. "I bet...I bet it'll start rolling up all the land masses, then all the islands, then it'll reach up into space." The hopelessness was obvious.

"Still, you'll want to last as long as you possibly ca—"

The pilot's voice overlapped the reporter's. "Sir, sir, sir, it's coming, the Katamari's coming—"

"It got that much bigger in a minute?!—"

"_Oh my GOD IT'S AIMING FOR US—"_

All the noise stopped. Static was all that remained.


End file.
